Tuesday

I am learning every day about Jesus. I am learning more and more about how I can be his friend.

It is a Monday!

Today is Monday. First day of the work week. I don't really mind a Monday. I feel better when I have gotten it under my belt though. I hate to wish away my time. Especially now that I am older. I don't know how much longer I have left here on the earthly plain. It could be
one day or I could have 40 more years. I am going to try and prepare
for any case though. A long time or short. If it is a short time, I want
to be prepared to meet God. If it is a long time that I have left, I want
to be here in good physical shape, which means I need to keep on working on taking care of my body. I have to go to the Gym tonight as a matter of fact.
My friend Boris from Switzerland wants to buy me a shotgun. I am so happy and excited. I Hope it works out where he can do this from so far away. What a good guy he is. I want to get a 16 guage. 22 is not strong enough, and a 12 is too much. 16 will be just right for protection, and to go shooting, hunting if I care too.

Rainy Day

Today it is a cold day. It is rather quiet here in my office. I like it that way though. I hate to put out fires all day sometimes. Most of the time.
I am feeling really good about my body these days. I am still very much over weight, but I have made some really good strides at being healthy. I went to the doctor and I got really good reports on all of my
numbers like A1C level and cholestorl and such as that. I was happy.
If I can just lose 35 more pounds by this time next year, I will satisfied
with my weight. I do not want to go out of this world a big ole' woman.

Friday in the Rain

I have a friend that I used to work in the Store with. A lady who worked with me at Tower Records in LA. Well, she seems to really, really take offense to any references I use of the bible on my facebook page. It seems to make her angry. And any time she can jibe me about the Bible, or God, or Christmas she loves to do so, and seems to take great pleasure in doing so. Why does the thought of thought of the bible, the son, and the holy Ghost, God, why does bother anyone? Unless you truly love evil, and the debil. I don't tell people what to believe, I just share what I believe to be the good news occasionally. Because I think it is hopeful. I want people to feel good.

Powerful!

Timothy 1 :16 But I recieved mercy for this reason, that in me,as the formost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.
Man, this is a powerful verse to me. I just found it today, while looking for a positive verse from the bible to start my day. And this just jumped out! What a comforting, strong, positive verse to read, believe in, take comfort in, feel strong from. That is if you are a believer. If you don't believe in God, I don't reckon it would mean too much to you.
You know, I am just sort of learning about how to be a Christian person. I was raised so, in the Presbyterian Church, but only this year, as an adult, do I feel that I am learning what being a Christian really is. It is more than just getting a good feeling thinking about God, like you do as a child. There is so, so much more to being a Christian. And I think when you finally get what it is all about, you cannot turn it off. You cannot just think about God and Jesus while you are at Sunday school, or when something bad is going on in your life. God, Jesus, being a Christian, it is in the forefront of you mind all day, every day. You want to pray, read the bible, think about God, and loving him, praising him, sharing him all day long! You feel so good about your faith, you are about to Bust!!!! That is how I am starting to feel like every day. I start my day thinking about the Lord, praying to the Lord, and I end my day the same way. What a wonderful thing!!!!!

Friday again, Snow day Maybe!

Well, I feel better today. And guess who I credit this too? I credit to this to All mighty God. God is so good to me. And I
in turn plan on being a good and faithful servant until the day I leave this earth, and I am with my family once again in heaven. I tell you people, all you have to do is have faith and trust in the Lord Jesus, and you will be taken care of. Some how, some way, you will always be taken care of. Answers don't always come the way you want them too. Or expect them too, but they do come.
Thank you Dear God. Thank you for loving me, and taking such good care of me. Thank you for helping me with my finances and figuring out what I need to do, and the assistance from the people you have sent to me to help me. I promise I will not let you down.

Deer Day

I cannot get the sight of that poor Deer, a doe, trying to struggle to get up and get off the road after she had been hit this morning. We saw her while riding the van on the way to work. OMG. That was so sad. My goodness, life is so fragile. Just so fragile. You just never know what is going to happen to you, or someone in your family, or anything from one minute to the next. It is simply amazing. It is mind boggling. Cheating husbands, and crazy children treating their parents rotten. Sick friends, and people who lose their jobs right out of nowhere. Checks bouncing that you could have sworn were good. An empty savings account when you knew you had at least 10 dollars. I mean my oh my.
The only thing that I know is true so far in this world is my daddy and my grandmother Ruth loved me to the ends of the earth. More than anyone could love anyone. And that feels good. And I have them in my memory banks when times get tough, and I want to feel a real true love for me and no one ever can ever take that away. An the only other thing I know for sure, and can count on is that I know All mighty God the father loves me and will be with me here on this earth till the end. He loves me. Man that is a feeling I wish everyone could have. Cause even when you are sad, and hurting, and worried and depressed, you know you have God the Father right there with you. And he is feeling everything with you. He knows. He knows.
I am asking God to be with me today. And to be with all of my friends and family that I know are struggling with something awful. Please be with all of us and help us to see light at the end of the tunnel Lord. And help us to know that you are with us, and you have your hand gently on the small of our backs walking with us through our days. And Thank you Lord for all of your gifts you have given me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have my dad for my father here on earth. He was the best. And thank you for all of my grandparents, my mom, my brother, his family, all my friends. All the pets I have ever had. Every living breathing thing that has crossed my path Lord I feel was there for a reason, and I want to thank you for the opportunity to have had them.
So that I may learn, and grow, and love the most that is possible for me.
Help to lead me down the right path for me Lord. Please help me to be in the best place I can be as to where I should live. So I can afford to live. Help me decide if I should stay where I am, get a roommate there, move out somewhere, just whatever it is I need to do, please help me to decide Lord. Thank you for everything Lord. I love you. Ruthie

Wednesday, a day for prayer and thoughtfulness

Well, I had heard that one of my brother's best friends while we
were growing up had colon cancer. I have been wondering how he
was and finally just decided to call his Mom's house to ask after
him. He said he was doing pretty good. That after they removed
the tumor from his colon, they did discover cancer cells in one of
his lymph nodes. So, he is under chemotherapy now. Bless his heart,
he had just lost his job in August, and then 6 weeks later, he found
out he had cancer. He is 49 years old. Hopefully this chemo will
do the trick. At least for a while anyway. Poor Fella.
My brother had primarily 4 friends that he use to run with when he
was in High school. Tommy, Kevin, Jeff and Jeff. For the most part
they were good guys. They did not get into a whole lot of trouble, and
they came from good families. They did their share of partying. They
were pretty wild by my adult standards now. They were very tight.
They all met at my parents house almost every day, especially on the
weekends. They came over to our house, and they hung out in my brother's room. Smoking pot, and drinking. Listening to music, and
watching sports or whatever on TV. My brother's room was upstairs,
and I think my parents just felt like as long as they were up there, at least they were not out riding around and drinking. I don't know how much
they knew about the drugs or not. Those boys would let me hang out with them, and share their beer and pot with me, if I would make them sandwiches and drinks and so forth for them and bring it up to them. So I would. I felt so lucky to be able to hang out with all these older guys,
and most importantly my brother. I wanted to be excepted by him more
than anything. And all those guys to tell you the truth. For the most part,
they were nice to me. Now that I am an adult, I wish we would have spent our time together in maybe a way that did not involve the pot and alchohol. I don't know where that had helped us in our lives in anyway. I wish we would have hung out at the YMCA or something. or at Church. But the past is over now. If I had children, maybe there is something I could show them that you would not want to do.
I found out today about the one guy, Jeff has cancer, and another one of the guys, Kevin, he has heart disease. He just had by-pass surgery. I found out when I called Jeff to ask about him. Kevin was always my favorite. He was always nice to me. Even if he did pick on me, he was always nice to me. I have always loved his wife too. She was always nice to me and my friend too. I am very shaken by hearing of this. Brings up a lot of emotions. I am going to pray for both of them. They are both so
young. Kevin has two girls, and I am sure he would like to see them get married, and get to see his grandchildren. Bless his heart.
Lord, please be with these two men from my childhood. They are having a hard time, and they need your special love and care. Please take care of them, and help them to feel your love. Please be with my brother too, because I know he is probably shook up by his friends getting sick. He has always worried about his heart since our dad had heart disease. Please help him to know that he is in your loving care.
Thank you God, Amen.

Friday!

Today is my last day of the work week. A good Ole' Friday.
I am going to visit my friend Stacy tomorrow, and we are going to
hang out, and do sister things. She is such a good, well she is a great
friend of mine. I cannot wait to see her. She is like blood to me. She
is like a blood relative. When I think of my favorite Ruth Verse in the
bible, I think of her.
I called my brother, and asked him if I could stop by on Sunday on my way back from Graham to visit my nephew Nathaniel. I got a no. That
his wife was back in school, and a visit would not be good this weekend.
This makes me real sad. I was hoping so much that in 2010, our relationship would be the way I want it to be! Like what I think of normal family relationships to be. That you just pop by when you want, you don't have to make appointments and all that to see little babies that you just love so much. Little babies that have your blood in their veins, and that you can see your Mama and Daddy in their face. I have prayed for my brother for his wife, for our relationship. I know that I will continue to pray for us. And for our relationship. That God might have us be together again as a family one day. I am sad. But, I have Faith that the Lord will help me. He always, always has when I have asked for help in Earnest. The thing is, he does not always answer the way I hope for, but the right answer always comes. So, I will lean upon my faith, and my trust in God the Father all Mighty, that our relationship is going the way
it needs to go, and the little boy that I love will know me as his Aunt Ruthie. And he will love me for all my good qualities and not even care about the times I have missed the mark, but tried again. I know God's Grace. I have felt it many times. He will take care of me. He will help my heart accept and learn how to love my brother and his family in a way that will work for all of us. Until then, I have pictures and I have hope in
my heart. I do not walk alone.

Sola Fide

I am taking a new class this year. I have decided that 2010, whether I like it all the time or not, is going to be the year that I really try. That I
try to do the best I can at almost everything in my life, and not be lazy.
Not just wait on things to happen, but to make things happen. Good
things. Positive things.
I have begun a class this year at the Pastor of the Graham Friends Church that is about learning how to be a good solid Christian. Or at least that is what is all about to me. We will be studying the bible. We will be talking about things. I will be learning things. I am very excited.
No longer will I dread Sunday evenings, because I know they are the last of the weekend. It is hard to describe how I feel when I am around Pastor Mark and his wife Susan. And in their home. Even though they are only a little bit older than me, I feel like a young adult around them, rather than a middle aged woman. I feel like they want me to do good, and get things right, and to understand what is going on. The whole group is a very patient and caring group of people. Man, I just love going there. The house is a older home in Graham, in the historic district. I even like the idea of going to a home in this location, because it makes me feel close to my parents, and all of those who have gone before me. What a wonderful experience this is going to be!